Heart feeling

You might say I'm a jealous person, I'm stingy, I'm heart narrow. I'll admit that. Yes, I'm the kind of person. I jealous when you speak to him more than me. Although we are talking on the same topic, but you listened to him more than me. Is that because he is boy then I'm a girl? I know you guys have plenty words to say because he just came backed from KL, but I'm your flesh and blood person. I was so fed up and upset, why everything I've done are wrong in your sight? Anything and everything. I just don't understand. Is that because you are staying far apart from us? Is that the only way we communicate? I was wanted to have study group with my friend. She was kind enough and willing to help me out and work out with my stupid brain. But the time crush because I usually drop my brother to tuition. Every Sunday, I know it's the only time for you to rest but I don't know what you did usually. I told you I had study group with my friend, but the response you gave me is not what I expected. Why don't you feel happy instead of mad? I'm not wrong. I don't admit the mistake on me and I don't think it's a mistake for having a study group. No matter how, I won't give up the chances. I've been waiting for so long time, I'm trying to find someone who can help me and now here comes the person. I just don't understand, why you also mad on me. I'm not doing something illegal, I'm not doing something wrong, I'm not a liar! I have no idea what to say and no point for me to explain since everything I've done were wrong. Somehow I think you should be happy but not asking me to cancel the study group. A very hard heart feeling, hurt. I felt so dull. Why I was born to be your kid? I never get support from you anyway. Fine. I can't make things perfect and satisfy you but I still have to say: "Sorry dad, I love you and happy father's day." How's the feeling that I've got to celebrate with you tomorrow? Pillow will wet. ='(

Always have to think that I have a pretty small heart.

*I know you loved me*