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Listening to the clock ticking in the mid night, fingers drumming laptop's keyboard, and the body temperature reminding I'm still alive. Memories flowing in my brain, as my blood flowing in my vein, my heart beats hardly. There's always something, wakes me up from dreams; there's always something, whispers in my ear, tells me what's right and wrong; there's always something, reminds me who am I. I'm thinking, the next step I am going to take, to risk in my life. I counted, cautiously, to avoid any unnecessary mistakes. I'm planning, what should I take up next. Every single decisions made, affected one's life, hollowly. The foods one's eaten today, reflected by one's health. The clothes one's worn today, reflected one's friends. One's attitudes, reflected by one's abilities, ambitions and goals in future. This might not true, it is my belief. I can't change my background, but I can change my future and fortune. Knowledge is the key of power, money is the key of life, family is the key of happiness. Knowledge, is what I never achieve; money, is what I trying to make; family, is what I try to create. When one knows more, one will know how tiny or less of he/she is, and this urge one to gain more. Knowledge. money and family are the same, somehow they are related. Money is the tools to get knowledge, family is the one supply money, and money is the secret which bond the family. This is life cycle where I believed it supposed to be.

Life is cruel, no one can life without money, in the trading world.

I am still not sure what I am going to do, but I am sure what I am doing now is the right thing to do.