52

Officially 21. Seems like a significant words to say when everyone comes to this age. 21, doesn't meant a lot to me. It does not change my life, does not change my appearance, does not change my attitude, just a symbolic number to show that I'm getting older. Haha. Nothing more but I've had a party. The last birthday party before the 21st birthday party was 12 years old party. Not a really good day for me since I was sitting for mid term which killed me and still, I'm rushing back all the way from Kampar to Penang and being late for the party. That is sucks! My friends, all of them were like so excited about their 21st birthday but mine, I got no special feeling, sincerely. I don't feel any happiness or excitement where I used to have in the back few years. Well, got myself into troubles again. I am so demotivated and I wish I could sleep and knock out all the day so I won't have to know what's going on around me. I stayed up late recently, for no reason. Damn dark circle, damn sicky face, damn blur face, damn empty brain. Everyday attended the classes I supposed to turn up, sat there, empty mind and soul, trying to catch what's the alien language is it, the words were like "going into the left ear but come out from the right ear". Damn alcoholic, wish to be drunk all the time. I'm not a good daughter, not a good friend, not a good girl friend, not a good person, perhaps.