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此时此刻，只想一个人。其实已经开始了。一个人上课，一个人吃东西，碰上朋友，就哈啦几句。空虚寂寞吗？应该是累了。才开课第二个星期，就开始压力了。压力什么？最后一次的科目了？也许吧。也许，潜意识已告诉自己，最后一次了，真的没了，就拼到最好吧。明天假期。昨天补课，确确实实的从早到晚，很累。累了也好，回家温习一些功课，然后睡觉，免得多想，话也不用多说。心很沉重，依稀听见的心跳声，告诉自己要坚强些。有时候，很想不读了，不懂自己真正属于什么地方，很想抛下一切，掉头就走，到另一个世界，没人认识我的世界。看见镜子里的自己，感觉很陌生，失去灵魂的空壳，热忱在哪儿？其实热忱依旧在，只是懦弱的自己，已经慢慢的退缩，已经没有勇气再往前一步。究竟是因为一开始就错了再错，错不下去了，选择退缩。那坚持的原因又是什么？自己都搞不清楚，更没办法向旁人要去建议。心理的挣扎有谁懂。加上生活上琐碎的事情，家庭，感情，真想抱头痛哭。当初的一切，还不是因为自己的决定，才会有这样的后果。庆幸的是，理智的头脑会知道，现在应该做的是什么。知道不可以放弃，知道不可以秃废，知道上课的目的是什么，也知道自己在这里做什么。但也期望，这一两天的假期，可以去旅行。简单就好，一个人就好。

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对别人造成伤害，但最大的伤害，往往都伤了自己。

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Time flies as the water flows, holiday ending soon, yet I'm still counting down, since the day I had my holiday, I am afraid that I do not spent my holiday well, I should have utilize my holiday, with my packed schedules as usual, with my family, and with my friends, and I think I did spent it well, except for the only thing, I do not read.
Recalling the day since my semester break, was 31st December, I'm driving back from Kampar to Penang. In not-so-good condition, yet can't pronounce I'm sick because I'm not really, just the sensitivity of my nose, made me felt so unwell. It was a tiring moment when driving in such a long distance, and luckily I got a companion with me, chat with me all the trip. Well she brought along her tortoises, back to hometown. She recalled me my tortoises, I miss them so much, were my children and i wonder how are they now. Somehow, it's not convenience that bring the tortoises along whenever go home, she said. Well, I was thinking, I can help you take care of it for a couple days if you don't mind, can't deny that I still love tortoises.  But I did not voice out the offer. Make peace yo! =)
So, by the time I reached Penang, Miss Spendid activated! I spent a lot, really a lot, I bought skin care products, I bought clothes, I went road trip, I spent on food, basically.
After that, I went dinner together with family, for sure. Then went home, doing nothing, no club no party, here comes the 2013. Happy 2013!!! So I went off to bed.
1.1.2013, what I did, I don't really remember now. I think I went out with family.Oh yea, I went movie with family, the CZ 12. The last movie of Jackie Chan, so no more great action actor movie, end of his career, have a good retirement. =') Yet to mention, I met Yen Li, my old schoolmates, a 14 years friend. We had a little chit chat, for a while.
The following days until Sunday, I think I did nothing much but was my grandma driver. I was so damn pissed off, so damn tired, I complaint a lot, somehow I still picked and dropped her, because she is my grandma. Sometimes I just want to be nice to them, as much as I can. I am scare, how if one day when I'm back, they don't ever remember me anymore? Whenever I thought of these, I almost cry. I couldn't afford to lost them, but I knew, they will leave. I tried to control my temper, treat them better, love them more. I care how they feels, I love them. ='(
Sunday was an awesome day, I went Escape, the newly built theme park in Penang. Together with my brother, cousin and Lingyin, we enjoyed the excitement. I felt sorry to Lingyin as she didn't play much, as she can't really play, ended up being my photographer. For your advice, if you're gonna play, do have go for regular exercise first to strengthen your muscles and build your stamina. It's not easy for those who got no stamina, even thou those who had the stamina, I saw them, playing hard. Anyway, I will go challenge again. It's really fun.
I shall stop here, the story will be continue soon....