66

读书读到哭，到底是为了什么？上了degree这些日子，到底是什么时候我是最开心的做着自己喜欢做的事情？每件事情都已利益来衡量，曾几何时我变得那么现实？我的快乐在哪里？快乐的我又去了哪里？想不开的时候，真的想从窗口跳出去，一刀捅死自己，不然就去跳湖好了。

现在的我，知道了什么是幸福。做自己喜欢的事情，爱自己多一点，爱家人多一点，看家人多一点，照顾他们多一点，这就是我的幸福。

65

忙了一段日子，总于可以放慢脚步。当忙完了一件事，一件又一件接着下来，换句话说，其实都忙不完。忙的定义，何解？忙，都是自己找来的。忙好，只要不茫。常常告诉自己，不要让自己活得太舒服，这生活会让人怠惰。最近，忙了，茫了。才知道，现在的我，没有梦想，问我想要干什么，其实我不懂。梦想，只是个遥不可及的梦，所以，不敢想了。也好，忙完了，累了，就睡着了。的确，最近睡得好多了，不想以前常失眠。心境不同，也比较踏实了。往往，人，还是最累人的事。我懂了，我感受到了。为什么宁愿当低层的员工也不当高薪的领袖。累的，真的很累的。只是三个人，已经让我死去活来，我无言，无奈。也不能把重心放在他们身上，不是时候，不对的人物。太多工作，太多身份，我越来越糊涂。各方施压的压力，让我开始对人情世故反感，厌恶。开始无头绪，无理取闹，无端端生气，闹脾气。回想下，我最近做了最快乐的事情：到图书馆看报纸。至少，总于有那么一点点地‘悠闲’。嗯，是时候，整理整理心情，排一排时间表了。今年有没有圣诞礼物？我想要一个运动型的mp3。呼~ 想要一个圣诞礼物，也是这么的无奈。。。

64

那些掉下的眼泪，不是气馁和伤心的眼泪，是不甘愿服输的眼泪！

63

一张讯息，三个字，传送了。回转的，五封都布满了字。渐渐转凉的天气，寒风刺骨，但心是炙热的，突然觉得温暖。我，顿时湿了眼眶。

62

Listening to the clock ticking in the mid night, fingers drumming laptop's keyboard, and the body temperature reminding I'm still alive. Memories flowing in my brain, as my blood flowing in my vein, my heart beats hardly. There's always something, wakes me up from dreams; there's always something, whispers in my ear, tells me what's right and wrong; there's always something, reminds me who am I. I'm thinking, the next step I am going to take, to risk in my life. I counted, cautiously, to avoid any unnecessary mistakes. I'm planning, what should I take up next. Every single decisions made, affected one's life, hollowly. The foods one's eaten today, reflected by one's health. The clothes one's worn today, reflected one's friends. One's attitudes, reflected by one's abilities, ambitions and goals in future. This might not true, it is my belief. I can't change my background, but I can change my future and fortune. Knowledge is the key of power, money is the key of life, family is the key of happiness. Knowledge, is what I never achieve; money, is what I trying to make; family, is what I try to create. When one knows more, one will know how tiny or less of he/she is, and this urge one to gain more. Knowledge. money and family are the same, somehow they are related. Money is the tools to get knowledge, family is the one supply money, and money is the secret which bond the family. This is life cycle where I believed it supposed to be.

Life is cruel, no one can life without money, in the trading world.

I am still not sure what I am going to do, but I am sure what I am doing now is the right thing to do. 

61

I thought, I shouldn't start drinking, from the beginning. I should have know, I should not drink, it won't help inn solving problems. Yea, I'm just not in mood, recently. A lot of things happened. Well, not a big problem thou, if I don't magnify and think about it. 

60

也许，一直以来都没发觉，爱情，原来会让人变得软弱。

59

Woke up early in the morning for this event. Refresh back when was the previous marathon I had. Remind me of what keep me running. I'm glad to say I broke my own record beyond my limit. Not about time, is the distance. This marathon is 12km instead of 10km. I know I couldn't run this far, I know my leg and body actually couldn't afford it, but what's in my mind and my heart said:"Keep running".

58

What else can I do to relief my stress and unhappiness besides posting new status on facebook? I know this action is seriously irrational but how can i express myself when it is so hard to find someone for you to talk to? Sometimes I will just randomly pick someone and just talk craps and complains, just anyone. In this case I just found myself, either too stress or I am just too generous to share my stories to others, who I not used to be. I am so helpless when everything is out of my control and I don't like the last minute job, seriously. When you can't cope with your assignment, why not you tell your groupmates earlier so that everyone can help? The due date is on friday and today you are like suddenly pop out and said "Please help me find and do the parts". Althought the 'please' is included, but I still couldn't accept it. This thing can be solved earlier. No updates from you so I thought and assumed that you have done the rest of the assignment. You said you were waiting for my parts and I thought my part was the last part as I submitted late. I apologize for the late submission, but suppose you update the group that so far what has not yet done. I was totally in full scheduled life now, my stuffs is going on plan by plan, I don't wish to have extra burden as I want to keep my academics on track. Last minute job is a total huge burden for me. When comes to the moment that I thought I could have a little rest, troubles might appeared. This is no longer the first time. I am so pissed off actually and yet I still have to keep calm and control my EQ, which I usually gave a punch on the wall. Do you know that when the moment you have to accept these things, how many feelings will rush to your brain, and how your brain needa manage it. It is really tiring. I couldnt scold you I couldnt kick you out of my group. Somehow you broke the rules of mine, and I no longer pay any trust on you. Since the beginning of this semester, when started doing assignment, I found that no one can be trusted, besides myself. None of you can do things that I required, not me, the assignment required. Those kindegarden things, dont you suppose know how to mange it?? The arrangement the margin, why you just highlight anything you like? Why you must add in those unnecessary parts??? Why why why?? Why can't you just follow exactly the rules?? Making all those non sense, end up you made my life busier.
Just hate the moment when I read your assignment. At first I thought was my prejudice on you and I was trying to avoid and accept your works. Now I can't even solve this problem when I am showering.

57

seeing those good food posted in the instagram, by those wealthy perhaps. starring at those picha, stomach starving, in the midnight. i'm thinking and missing home cooked food, i suddenly think of my mom pork meat char bee hoon. seems like had been a year over here, how many times i went back home a year, and how many times i can ever have my mom dishes. and also my granny, it seems like been years i never have a chance to have her dishes, after grandpa passed away.
lot of stuffs keep me thinking and worrying, the unfinished assignments and presentations drive me crazy.i'm urging to get started with my studies and revision, but what else? assignments come first. well now i couldnt find the information i needed in the assignment. im so frustrating. get myself headache and mood swing, what's the point? i'm so desperate to get a better sleep and rest, who knows a better time for me to rest turned out into nightmare, or maybe a exciting dreams perhaps. another space of mind in my head, should i say 'let my imagination go wild'? i should donate my brain after i die, to those doing research on myth of brain.

56

有时候,多想复制自己,多一个自己,至少不会孤单,不会寂寞。或许,哪天朋友都各奔职场, 忙了,没联系了。或许,哪天我累了,'她'会给我个拥抱,告诉我,至少,你有我。一个拥抱,足于千言万语。我,又曾几何时害怕寂寞,害怕一个人。你,每次都是我在联络你,回来了,有空了,也不陪我聊聊。是贪新忘久吗?

55

I got a feeling like, I gonna fail this semester. T^T

I've been in mess for few weeks, sicky face and messy face. I hate to interact with people in such condition. How can I make myself looks better?

54

为什么每晚都没完没了的发梦？梦，就算了，最近的，是噩梦。每每起不了床，要不然就打瞌睡。恨不得一枪毙掉自己的脑袋。现在变成，我不要睡觉。反正一睡着就发噩梦，有睡等于没睡，倒不如不用睡。差不多一个星期了，天天都这样子，上课又不能专心，很累啊!!!!!! 有没有人像我这样，睡觉睡到想哭，真的很无奈。睡觉也变成一种压力。T^T

53

What a sleepless night again. I'm now lying on my bed, rolling for an hour. Sweat covering my body, thoughts are floating in my mind. Recalled what had happenned to me the past few days, i had nightmares, 3 nights straight, i remember. i got shocked and scared in the dream, when i woke up i felt my heartbeat is getting weaker day by day. Remember that friday night i took the pill after i consulted doctor, thought will be sleeping well in the night, end up things turned upside down. The dreams were all night long, my head is going to explode. I got that feeling again, like i have been not sleeping for 2 days. I was so damn physically and mentally tired, and thanks god my heart is still beating. i was like dizzy all the day, heavy head and nausea. I slept again after i showered, until i was suddenly awake by another dream again, realised the time is almost 5pm. I forced myself to wake up, felt my face was numb. I decided to go for a jog, i need to sweat, but somehow the haze attacked again so i change my plan and i gone for cycling. Cycling is way more terrible than jogging, i felt so. Cycling did not make me sweat, at that moment strong wind hitting made me even harder to cycle. Well all these did not change my mood , still down and my face is still numb. After all I had a little chit chat with my aunty and made me felt a little better. The conversation i never planned to tell. I getting tired of myself and complaining myself to other but somehow i spoke to her. Went out in the midnight and kept on playing with my phone, until i got back home, grabbed a drink and played tetris, the moment i slept was 4 in the morning. Today i manage to wake up before the nightmare again. Weird dreams. Played badminton and finally i manage to spill my unhappiness through the shuttlecock. I found myself at the place i used to be, the happiest me. Well more to mention about is i got another surprise from my foundation friends for my birthday. The awkward moment was the time i just came out from the bathroom and i looked in mess. Although they are younger than me and some of them are not mature enough, i still like to be together with them because of their sillyness and being naive. It is bad to say that but it is true. I felt better today and got myself a little motivated. Just realised my academic in a mess, again. I will now pay my attention on my studies, still got alot to catch up. About that relationship, i dont want to talk much thou, just let it be. Study is more importance to me right now.
p/s: thanks all my friends who wished me for my birthday. Sadly i've forgotten to take the picture of presents.

I hate myself being emotional which i hardly controlled that and always escaped from the reality and truth. hello??? You're no longer a science student that you always failed to be. I hate myself being looked down by others. I hate myself that i always could not make it better. Why i'm forcing myself doing things that i dont like that i dont have to do so. I just wanted to go in front of my mom and tell her i wanted to quit. This is suffering. I couldnt make it as i got no balls to tell her. @.@ chicken.

- Just a random post in a sleepless night, nothing much.

52

Officially 21. Seems like a significant words to say when everyone comes to this age. 21, doesn't meant a lot to me. It does not change my life, does not change my appearance, does not change my attitude, just a symbolic number to show that I'm getting older. Haha. Nothing more but I've had a party. The last birthday party before the 21st birthday party was 12 years old party. Not a really good day for me since I was sitting for mid term which killed me and still, I'm rushing back all the way from Kampar to Penang and being late for the party. That is sucks! My friends, all of them were like so excited about their 21st birthday but mine, I got no special feeling, sincerely. I don't feel any happiness or excitement where I used to have in the back few years. Well, got myself into troubles again. I am so demotivated and I wish I could sleep and knock out all the day so I won't have to know what's going on around me. I stayed up late recently, for no reason. Damn dark circle, damn sicky face, damn blur face, damn empty brain. Everyday attended the classes I supposed to turn up, sat there, empty mind and soul, trying to catch what's the alien language is it, the words were like "going into the left ear but come out from the right ear". Damn alcoholic, wish to be drunk all the time. I'm not a good daughter, not a good friend, not a good girl friend, not a good person, perhaps. 

51

为什么，当我最需要你的时候，你不在。为什么，每当我伤心的时候，第一个出现的不是你。为什么，每当我不开心的时候，出现逗我开心的人，不是你。曾几何时，我们的通话已经渐渐变少。我不喜欢你每次都说我忙不想打扰我，真的不开心，这不是借口。我真的还有很多想说的话。因为你考试，我不想提出来免得你分心。现在我们是不是该谈一谈了？当每次第一个人出现安慰我逗我开心得人不是你，我失望，我怀疑。告诉你了，你反问，该如何让我开心，你让我怎么回答？有时候，我不想谈恋爱，是因为不想爱情会给我带来烦恼。我不想我的爱情，会是我的烦恼之一。

50

First of all, sorry. This is what I wanted to tell. I wasn't meant to be sensitive, I just can't hold my temper and my emotion when comes to this topic. The words you said are still in my mind, I do really mind and care. No one ever said me in this way. I still couldn't get over this current issue, sometimes I am trying hard to get over, instead most of the time I avoid it, if you notice. Although you said you're just kidding, but I couldn't take this as a joke, I felt like it is seriously assaulting me. We've been through quite something and sometimes, yet still not really understand each other perhaps. Remember I told you before? We're like totally from the different planets, we don't really have something or some thoughts that are same in common. This makes our path even tougher. We used to argue on something that couldn't tell that who's right and who's wrong, while there are not even have a choice to be right and wrong. We used to tease each other, perhaps to get more attentions? You used to threaten me, but I will never get intimidate, I think you had a little disappointment. And I used to say something that I don't actually mind about that, ended up hurting you. Play games while talking on phone, well you never knew this, I always lose in the game while talking with you. I pay more attention on you instead of the game. No photos in the phone, is that really a matter since I already had your picture on my contact. Late reply of the messages? Messages are meant to be like leaving a note to someone when you knew the person is not free. Of course I'll reply you when I'm free and I admit that sometimes I do forget about it. If you urging to look up for me, why not you call instead of SMS? I think this is a big fight ever since we getting together. Damn stupid mind, heart crying over the night because of the meaningless words. I seriously hated myself. I know you don't mean anything but I still got that hard feeling. Now it's my problems again. Please give me some time then I'll get myself back on the track. You gonna text me if I don't text you, aren't you? It's ended up became my fault. ='(

P/S: Well, you couldn't blame me on who start the fight, the sun did started our fight. It still rotating like nobody business. Well when it gonna explodes?

49

很快的，我的假期已快完了。很后悔参加了什么活动，得提早回去。我还有很多没完成的任务。话说，我已不懂得怎么去放松，就连看书也没办法专心。很秃废的生活，玩游戏，看戏看到头痛。
一回来，整理行李, 就去了新加坡。这一趟的旅行，我受益不浅。什么感觉，懂得一个人，在异乡，得投靠别人，那尴尬，不好意思的感觉。懂得一个人，背包旅行的话，大概会怎样，也大概知道要怎样。异乡的人情世故，不一样。繁华的城市，漂亮的霓虹灯点缀着黑暗的夜，人们打扮的漂亮，看似完美的一切，但总觉得少了些什么。轻快铁里，不管男女老少，手上一定有个手机，就连看似将近70的老奶奶，也懂得玩 angry nanny，其余的，都在玩 candy crush。他们，少了一分情，有些， 只懂得盲目的追求，只懂得目的地，却不懂过程。这旅途里，曾感受过的挫觉，我不会忘记。我才懂得，以往的我，真的要风得风，要雨得雨。现在，也要一样，但是靠自己。这趟旅行，也让我发觉到，原来，也有很多人独自旅行。我最喜欢那感觉，当陌生人要求互相帮忙拍照，然后说上几句话。顶着酷热的天气，炙热的太阳下，拍照，同样一个建筑物，一样的角度，拍个几十张，直到满意为止，有着从所未有的成就感。
很庆幸的，有这位朋友。有谁愿意，不怕被晒黑，在街边走。
也要谢谢朋友的表哥，虽然不是人生大道理，但却点醒了我自己。
但是，有没有机会，下一次的旅行，我不懂。当时的我们，应该是希望一个人的旅行了。其实，我们已经达成共识。

我已经爱上这个国家

48

假期开始,心情还在考试期,反反复复,起落不定。我,还是过不了自己那一关。我很恨,很讨厌,自己。为什么就是过不了。压力,愈过不了愈压力。我不要这样子。心很重,想找人说话,说不了。没人能明白,我的痛苦,我的心情,我也不能解释。借酒消愁吗?也许。我也不想让自己多想。越想越错,会想不开。只想喝了就快点入眠,万万没想到会会喝醉,烂醉如泥的醉。也不清楚,闹了什么事,什么笑话。模糊的片段记忆,算了,也没什么好记。只是摔了一脚,受伤。不痛,不比心痛。谢谢你,也对不起,耽误你的睡眠时间。考完最后一张,就告诉朋友,我会转系。有一位朋友问,你舍得吗?我大喊,不要说了,我会哭。她的话扎了我的心,那没志气的眼泪已在眼睛打滚,视线已模糊。还好没当场哭,好丑。不管了,我真的需要去旅行。我想要到陌生的地方,静一静。希望,回来后,会痊愈。

47

朋友， 不需要很多，只要有一个真心的就好。如果那一个没了，是不是就没朋友了。打从你要离开的时刻，我就知道，这段感情一定会变。你说没关系，那我就相信你。我不懂，从何时开始，你就已经不会找我。一封信息也好。不管什么时候，但你需要我的时候，我一定会在，但当我需要你的时候，你却不在。我从来不会在意，我懂你在忙。但有时候我在想，是不是每当你伤心的时候你才会想起我？没关系，至少你会想起我，我不在意你快乐的时候，反而在意你伤心的时候。又曾几何时开始，你对我说话的语气都不一样了。我记得，你说你不会再主动，每次都是你主动，很累。好，那就我主动。我不懂，也许，每次都碰上不对的时间，多一句话也显得多余。我的直觉不会错。我知道，我们之间已经隔了一层膜。我不懂，你还会不会看我的部落格，不懂你会不会看见这一篇。只是想跟你说，能不能不要这么冷漠？我真的不懂该怎么做。其实， 每次得到如此冷漠的回复，真的会很心疼。兴致勃勃地开始，冷淡的过程，心伤的结尾。倒不如，不用开始还了，思念就够。

46

Finally have done and handed in the assignment, yet why I don't feel the happiness? Kinda stress off and wondering how did I survived in the past 2 days. Can't think of anything right now, brain has been retarded. Had been not sleeping for 2 days straight. Exactly like a walking zombie. Don't even have the energy to talk, only energy for respiration left. I am scared I will die, I knew my body couldn't afford anything more than this right now. Thanks to the damn programming and the stupid computer, I've been absent to school for 3 days, I don't even know what's happening around and what had been taught by the lecturer. Even more stress out. 

45

为什么要任性？懒惰，说不去就不去。现在连考卷都不用拿了，分数也不用知道了。心情突然的下跌。活该，终于得到一个教训，看你敢不敢再逃学。=(

44

Recently I've been busying for studies, assignments and an event. I've got a minor post instead of high post, enrolled myself as an assistant of cert and souvenir manager. Hmm. Sounds not bad as an assistant manager. But, here comes the problem. I felt myself no longer myself, is like, I don't like to do event anymore, don't like to involve in an event anymore. Where's the enthusiasm gone? I felt even more pressure instead of the happiness. Well, part of my thought have been change. No longer staying actively for outdoor activities, prefer study and read instead. Good thing or poor thing?
Besides that, I think I'm going mad. I have came across many thoughts, ideas, daydreaming about what am I going to do in my future. As a researcher I meant, do research on genes, I think I got influenced as I studying modern biology in this semester. More things yet to be discovered and I am here started to think what am I going to enclose these mysteries. I never think of Nobel prize, it's a dream but not an achievement for me. I really like this semester biology but why my result is not good??? =( I can't stop myself to think about all these stuffs, I think I'm going mad and crazy, I think I might be a mad scientist if I really can be a scientist. I"m just too excited and I don't mind myself live madly because of these, instead I felt so amazing and proud that I could come out with these non practical and non ethical experiment. I love myself and I could sink myself in the sea of genes. Who knows if I carry out the experiment secretly although it is illegal?  More ways and days to go. I shall jot down all these ideas before I forgot, for my future. Hehehe..... 

43

为什么不会自动的给家里打个电话？非得让长辈牵挂，想念，三思后，才给我打电话。何时才学会念家？这个不肖子。。。

远距离的恋爱，单身的生活。十年前的我，不懂。现在，懂了。

42

不想读书，不想做功课，不想写report。没什么，纯粹累了。写report 写到很喘。。。。。 刚写完一个，又来两个，下星期又考试，下星期五回家，回来这里又考试。做么有这样累这样喘的日子？我可不可以不要回家？做么hiao去参加event？做么design？最讨厌画画了。MBBS出路多，但要读就能读么咩？有谁不想当医生？我想都不敢想。。。。讲完了，继续写report。赞！！！

41

It has been 4 days, I was dreaming every night and I woke up from nightmares. No doubt, I can't get out of my bed and I am late for school again. When and what can I do to stop these happening on me? Is okay for few times but not everyday. My daily routines were seriously affected. What to do with that? I don't want wake from nightmare anymore. I got a terrible feeling every moment I woke, the feeling of not going to live in this planet anymore. What kind of dreams is that????????? T^T

40

Finally, I had done dealing with my test 1. I was kinda stress out this time as I realized, I must be more hard working and determine, since I have decided to continue in science stream. I always heard that seniors, and lecturers, said that foundation is harder. Many subjects to study and it's not all of that will be relate to your future degree course. This is the last semester for me and I wish to end it quickly and get into the subjects that I like. Previously I was so lazy, don't really study for the test 1, always had the mind set like, as long as I'm know what I'm doing, I know what I'm studying, and I understand it. Somehow, until the moment I got my math paper, this strike my nerve off, my friend got full marks for that. I was shocked, and I started to compare myself to others again, brain storming about how can I do better than them. Why they can do it, why not me? If they can do it, I can do it as well. And well, this thought put me into high pressure cooker. I keep pushing myself to study, which this is not my way of study. Maybe I should have been studying in this way. Well, just ended the hell physics paper. No rest taken, continue go on with assignments and reports. I believe, as I push myself a little more, I can do much better. I want to get full marks in the next paper!

39

I hate the feeling when I got to send off the one I love. I always hated to send someone off, that will turn me down. The feeling that couldn't describe. Sad? It's even more than that. Some kind like heart broken. I don't want to see and I choose to leave earlier, make sure that my tears will not drop at that time. Trying hard to hold it back. I will not cry because of this, I don't like myself seems weak. Spent a little time, met up with friends, chit chat for a while. Still the rest that I haven't meet, hope we will meet very soon, I miss you. ='(

38

Chinese new year is approaching. Got no idea why I always getting frustrated at this time, during Chinese new year period. It's like, my family doesn't like Chinese new year, I got no place to go. Traffic jam everywhere, who else houses I can visit? I don't really like to visit to others house. When I got home, every part of house is really dirty and I can't help to clean up the messes, as what do the old Chinese believed in we will sweep away our properties if we sweep the floor on the first day of CNY. THIS IS HORRIBLE! I can't think of what else good during CNY except getting red packets from the others. I seriously prefer go out station or travel, rather meeting up those eldest. I want go travel, so badly. Well with the help of the hot weather, I'm am heated up even more quickly during CNY. With those stupid wasting time matters and the weather, that's why I hate CNY the most. These few days, lot of stuffs to think off, and I got drunk last night. Good to get drunk or not? Got no idea. When I woke up in the next morning, always got the feeling like "what the fuck?" LOL. I drink too much last night, every part of my body swollen, especially my mouth, joint? Perhaps. So damn hurt that even I can't talk much. Who cares? Just for a night, at least I was so damn high for a night. I think I do speak non sense. Haha.
Well, I was thinking about you and right after that, you messaged me. I'm really so glad that you've finally appeared. Isn't better if we maintain our relationship in this way, rather than being stranger. Seriously, the 2 weeks that without any message from you were the most suffer days I've gone through. 

37

此时此刻，只想一个人。其实已经开始了。一个人上课，一个人吃东西，碰上朋友，就哈啦几句。空虚寂寞吗？应该是累了。才开课第二个星期，就开始压力了。压力什么？最后一次的科目了？也许吧。也许，潜意识已告诉自己，最后一次了，真的没了，就拼到最好吧。明天假期。昨天补课，确确实实的从早到晚，很累。累了也好，回家温习一些功课，然后睡觉，免得多想，话也不用多说。心很沉重，依稀听见的心跳声，告诉自己要坚强些。有时候，很想不读了，不懂自己真正属于什么地方，很想抛下一切，掉头就走，到另一个世界，没人认识我的世界。看见镜子里的自己，感觉很陌生，失去灵魂的空壳，热忱在哪儿？其实热忱依旧在，只是懦弱的自己，已经慢慢的退缩，已经没有勇气再往前一步。究竟是因为一开始就错了再错，错不下去了，选择退缩。那坚持的原因又是什么？自己都搞不清楚，更没办法向旁人要去建议。心理的挣扎有谁懂。加上生活上琐碎的事情，家庭，感情，真想抱头痛哭。当初的一切，还不是因为自己的决定，才会有这样的后果。庆幸的是，理智的头脑会知道，现在应该做的是什么。知道不可以放弃，知道不可以秃废，知道上课的目的是什么，也知道自己在这里做什么。但也期望，这一两天的假期，可以去旅行。简单就好，一个人就好。

36

对别人造成伤害，但最大的伤害，往往都伤了自己。

35

Time flies as the water flows, holiday ending soon, yet I'm still counting down, since the day I had my holiday, I am afraid that I do not spent my holiday well, I should have utilize my holiday, with my packed schedules as usual, with my family, and with my friends, and I think I did spent it well, except for the only thing, I do not read.
Recalling the day since my semester break, was 31st December, I'm driving back from Kampar to Penang. In not-so-good condition, yet can't pronounce I'm sick because I'm not really, just the sensitivity of my nose, made me felt so unwell. It was a tiring moment when driving in such a long distance, and luckily I got a companion with me, chat with me all the trip. Well she brought along her tortoises, back to hometown. She recalled me my tortoises, I miss them so much, were my children and i wonder how are they now. Somehow, it's not convenience that bring the tortoises along whenever go home, she said. Well, I was thinking, I can help you take care of it for a couple days if you don't mind, can't deny that I still love tortoises.  But I did not voice out the offer. Make peace yo! =)
So, by the time I reached Penang, Miss Spendid activated! I spent a lot, really a lot, I bought skin care products, I bought clothes, I went road trip, I spent on food, basically.
After that, I went dinner together with family, for sure. Then went home, doing nothing, no club no party, here comes the 2013. Happy 2013!!! So I went off to bed.
1.1.2013, what I did, I don't really remember now. I think I went out with family.Oh yea, I went movie with family, the CZ 12. The last movie of Jackie Chan, so no more great action actor movie, end of his career, have a good retirement. =') Yet to mention, I met Yen Li, my old schoolmates, a 14 years friend. We had a little chit chat, for a while.
The following days until Sunday, I think I did nothing much but was my grandma driver. I was so damn pissed off, so damn tired, I complaint a lot, somehow I still picked and dropped her, because she is my grandma. Sometimes I just want to be nice to them, as much as I can. I am scare, how if one day when I'm back, they don't ever remember me anymore? Whenever I thought of these, I almost cry. I couldn't afford to lost them, but I knew, they will leave. I tried to control my temper, treat them better, love them more. I care how they feels, I love them. ='(
Sunday was an awesome day, I went Escape, the newly built theme park in Penang. Together with my brother, cousin and Lingyin, we enjoyed the excitement. I felt sorry to Lingyin as she didn't play much, as she can't really play, ended up being my photographer. For your advice, if you're gonna play, do have go for regular exercise first to strengthen your muscles and build your stamina. It's not easy for those who got no stamina, even thou those who had the stamina, I saw them, playing hard. Anyway, I will go challenge again. It's really fun.
I shall stop here, the story will be continue soon....