45

为什么要任性？懒惰，说不去就不去。现在连考卷都不用拿了，分数也不用知道了。心情突然的下跌。活该，终于得到一个教训，看你敢不敢再逃学。=(

44

Recently I've been busying for studies, assignments and an event. I've got a minor post instead of high post, enrolled myself as an assistant of cert and souvenir manager. Hmm. Sounds not bad as an assistant manager. But, here comes the problem. I felt myself no longer myself, is like, I don't like to do event anymore, don't like to involve in an event anymore. Where's the enthusiasm gone? I felt even more pressure instead of the happiness. Well, part of my thought have been change. No longer staying actively for outdoor activities, prefer study and read instead. Good thing or poor thing?
Besides that, I think I'm going mad. I have came across many thoughts, ideas, daydreaming about what am I going to do in my future. As a researcher I meant, do research on genes, I think I got influenced as I studying modern biology in this semester. More things yet to be discovered and I am here started to think what am I going to enclose these mysteries. I never think of Nobel prize, it's a dream but not an achievement for me. I really like this semester biology but why my result is not good??? =( I can't stop myself to think about all these stuffs, I think I'm going mad and crazy, I think I might be a mad scientist if I really can be a scientist. I"m just too excited and I don't mind myself live madly because of these, instead I felt so amazing and proud that I could come out with these non practical and non ethical experiment. I love myself and I could sink myself in the sea of genes. Who knows if I carry out the experiment secretly although it is illegal?  More ways and days to go. I shall jot down all these ideas before I forgot, for my future. Hehehe..... 

43

为什么不会自动的给家里打个电话？非得让长辈牵挂，想念，三思后，才给我打电话。何时才学会念家？这个不肖子。。。

远距离的恋爱，单身的生活。十年前的我，不懂。现在，懂了。

42

不想读书，不想做功课，不想写report。没什么，纯粹累了。写report 写到很喘。。。。。 刚写完一个，又来两个，下星期又考试，下星期五回家，回来这里又考试。做么有这样累这样喘的日子？我可不可以不要回家？做么hiao去参加event？做么design？最讨厌画画了。MBBS出路多，但要读就能读么咩？有谁不想当医生？我想都不敢想。。。。讲完了，继续写report。赞！！！

41

It has been 4 days, I was dreaming every night and I woke up from nightmares. No doubt, I can't get out of my bed and I am late for school again. When and what can I do to stop these happening on me? Is okay for few times but not everyday. My daily routines were seriously affected. What to do with that? I don't want wake from nightmare anymore. I got a terrible feeling every moment I woke, the feeling of not going to live in this planet anymore. What kind of dreams is that????????? T^T