The days I've been for these few weeks, I felt it's tough to been through. All kind of hard feelings came towards me, all I got to do, is to pick it up, eat it, and swallow it. Doubts coming around, hesitating which way I have to go. I have lost myself in the lights, lost my faith. The feelings I had, cannot be written, nor spoken. Deep inside of me, I felt lifeless, I see disappointments, I see the blues, I see the end of my life. I admit, I did think of suicide, I've hurt, I can't get over it, I can't face the truth, I can't face anyone, included myself, I felt shameful and I had embarrassed my parents. I've cried, every night, thought of what I've done, thought what I've heard that shouldn't be heard, thought of how my parents think of me, thought of how the others look upon me, thought of how am I going to continue.... Many many things to think of. Lot of things to tell but can't speak it up, so it's the end of the day. Laughter in days, but what I am in the night? Tears has dried, heart has died.
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