65

忙了一段日子，总于可以放慢脚步。当忙完了一件事，一件又一件接着下来，换句话说，其实都忙不完。忙的定义，何解？忙，都是自己找来的。忙好，只要不茫。常常告诉自己，不要让自己活得太舒服，这生活会让人怠惰。最近，忙了，茫了。才知道，现在的我，没有梦想，问我想要干什么，其实我不懂。梦想，只是个遥不可及的梦，所以，不敢想了。也好，忙完了，累了，就睡着了。的确，最近睡得好多了，不想以前常失眠。心境不同，也比较踏实了。往往，人，还是最累人的事。我懂了，我感受到了。为什么宁愿当低层的员工也不当高薪的领袖。累的，真的很累的。只是三个人，已经让我死去活来，我无言，无奈。也不能把重心放在他们身上，不是时候，不对的人物。太多工作，太多身份，我越来越糊涂。各方施压的压力，让我开始对人情世故反感，厌恶。开始无头绪，无理取闹，无端端生气，闹脾气。回想下，我最近做了最快乐的事情：到图书馆看报纸。至少，总于有那么一点点地‘悠闲’。嗯，是时候，整理整理心情，排一排时间表了。今年有没有圣诞礼物？我想要一个运动型的mp3。呼~ 想要一个圣诞礼物，也是这么的无奈。。。

64

那些掉下的眼泪，不是气馁和伤心的眼泪，是不甘愿服输的眼泪！

63

一张讯息，三个字，传送了。回转的，五封都布满了字。渐渐转凉的天气，寒风刺骨，但心是炙热的，突然觉得温暖。我，顿时湿了眼眶。

62

Listening to the clock ticking in the mid night, fingers drumming laptop's keyboard, and the body temperature reminding I'm still alive. Memories flowing in my brain, as my blood flowing in my vein, my heart beats hardly. There's always something, wakes me up from dreams; there's always something, whispers in my ear, tells me what's right and wrong; there's always something, reminds me who am I. I'm thinking, the next step I am going to take, to risk in my life. I counted, cautiously, to avoid any unnecessary mistakes. I'm planning, what should I take up next. Every single decisions made, affected one's life, hollowly. The foods one's eaten today, reflected by one's health. The clothes one's worn today, reflected one's friends. One's attitudes, reflected by one's abilities, ambitions and goals in future. This might not true, it is my belief. I can't change my background, but I can change my future and fortune. Knowledge is the key of power, money is the key of life, family is the key of happiness. Knowledge, is what I never achieve; money, is what I trying to make; family, is what I try to create. When one knows more, one will know how tiny or less of he/she is, and this urge one to gain more. Knowledge. money and family are the same, somehow they are related. Money is the tools to get knowledge, family is the one supply money, and money is the secret which bond the family. This is life cycle where I believed it supposed to be.

Life is cruel, no one can life without money, in the trading world.

I am still not sure what I am going to do, but I am sure what I am doing now is the right thing to do. 

61

I thought, I shouldn't start drinking, from the beginning. I should have know, I should not drink, it won't help inn solving problems. Yea, I'm just not in mood, recently. A lot of things happened. Well, not a big problem thou, if I don't magnify and think about it. 

60

也许，一直以来都没发觉，爱情，原来会让人变得软弱。

59

Woke up early in the morning for this event. Refresh back when was the previous marathon I had. Remind me of what keep me running. I'm glad to say I broke my own record beyond my limit. Not about time, is the distance. This marathon is 12km instead of 10km. I know I couldn't run this far, I know my leg and body actually couldn't afford it, but what's in my mind and my heart said:"Keep running".