Everything has came to the end, 10 more hours to go, new year is coming. I wonder why, I can't even passed the last 2 days of 2011 happily. Seriously I hope so, but my small little heart has been hurt again. Early in the morning, mom started to scold and nag until I am awake, and listened to the stupid non sense which is not real facts. I don't know why I take it seriously, it's not the true fact. Just one thing that I did wrongly and everything started to blame on me. I was half awake, listening to those craps, I knew I couldn't stand it, I forced myself to get into sleep, but I can't. The words are like knives and scissors, cutting and picking out my veins, heart started to bleed. The damn true fact is, they never admit their mistakes, and never apologies. Sometimes they knew that they were wrong, they trying to do something to put it back, but just they will never say sorry, and I never heard that before. Sorry, the largest and hardest word to say, so am I. I thought I might have better mood after i quit the job, in fact I'm not but turned out getting worst. Yesterday, saw the picture that I not suppose to see, think twice again the decisions I've made, I beg I won't regret later. And yet, someone did appeared in my dreams, every dreams, I really miss her so much. I never approach her again, still I can't over it, just keep it as memories. Dude, thanks for listening, I appreciate that. I wish I can skip these 2 days, I was like living in hell, I am very sad. Mum and dad, you know, sometimes what I think, you don't know, the trauma I did had before over there. I felt being left out sometimes. Whenever you scolded, not to help mum, the memories are like pictures, flashing back in my mind, and made my day misery, you know? This is a thing I can't tell, the biggest secret of mine. I felt like leaving from here, I have no places belong to, I wish I can own a room, a house. This is my future, and I gonna to achieve that. Staying away from the days, nagging and scolding, by the false truths, I eager to have my house, leaving you all. It is not my fault, every time, you don't care how people feels, what you wanted is to find something to release your tensions, me and brother became your target, the listener and the victims. When you found you've hurt me either he, you are late. I don't feel like talking to you today, so I shall keep myself shut. Shut my mouth, or my brain, whatever. You did messed up the things, but you put the blames on me. Fine, I will just move my stuffs out from your place, and see who is the one messing up the things. Wonder girls can cry, but I can't. Whenever I started to cry, I'll get migraine. And great, now I had it. STUPID! So this is my 2011 ending. I HATE IT!
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